Blogging and Friendship and Trust

Today has been a funny day. I was driving home from a meeting and was thinking of a blogging friend from PEI that I had lost touch with. Just minutes ago I received an email from him - he had moved to Toronto from PEI and was letting me know. He had been on Blog Sabbatical for over a year but he keeps in touch with me by reading my blog.

Earlier this week another blogging friend Stuart Henshall finally broke months of blog silence and whispered that he might be back, I commented with a quiet Welcome Home and he then posted this.

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A trust and set of relationships that has allowed him to do the unthinkable for many. Not much more than a month ago Rob had never met Johnnie, Dina or myself. Johnnie met with Rob just over a month ago for the first time. While for our small roles in this theater we met on Sunday before the kickoff. For many that's a risk they wouldn't take. For me, like Rob, it is increasingly one I find myself taking with my blogging buddies. We've read each other often for years, probably Skyped and chatted off and on; perhaps met at a number of conferences. For me this small assignment is just the proof that 1) a new way of working is emerging, and 2) given the chance a few bloggers can often out strategise, out perform, and simply do a better job than the most expensive consulting firms around.

Something weird and wonderful is going on in the background of the debate about the meaning of blogging. Yes it is an important feature of a new type of journalism. Yes it will change marketing and product development. As interesting to me as these major trends is how blogging is also creating new kinds of trusting relationships. It is enabling an entirely new way to make friends - from the inside out.

No longer are we reliant on face to face and local space to guide our relationships. This is surely a revolution. To all those that don't know - the success rate of "knowing" whom you can trust as a product of blogging is far higher than the traditional. I am not alone in finding that I can work with people that I have never met - such as Johnnie, Stuart and Dina.

I find that I "know" my blogging friends better than most of my traditional friends - why is this - what do you think?

Comments

[Euan Semple]

Hear, hear!

[Rob Paterson]

Hi Euan

[mattbg]

I think that the asynchronous communication methods let you collect your thoughts better and perhaps go back and rewrite some of your thoughts after you've put them down, making your position a bit more clear. To do this in conversation would be a bit hectic.

Also, with a blog, there's a recorded history. A lot of people don't remember much from the last conversation you've had. Many don't even remember what you said 5 minutes ago. With a blog, there's a record that you can follow.

Also, many friendships are quite hollow anyway. Conversations have to begin and end with small talk. People are busy. People are "busy". You could easily know someone for 5 years and be non the wiser about who they truly are. Blogs let you put down your thoughts when you have the inspiration to put them down (which may not -- and likely isn't -- the same time as when you're scheduled to meet with a friend). It's a concentrated history of your most inspired moments. Who wouldn't be attracted to that?

[Rob Paterson]

You are so right Matt - most people are sooo busy that their lives are all surface.

I find that people's blogs reflect what they deeply interested in - I see their humour - even those that blog about say business or media, offer the occasional glimpse of very personal things - Dave's health issues, Scoble mum's death etc - we see people being hesitant - Stuart getting back to blogging - career changes - the comments also help - people like you push back on one of my posts sometimes forcing me to think more clearly.

The fact that none of us have to read another's work also adds a pull versus a push to the relationship.

That reminds me - nice to have you drop by
Rob

[mattbg]

Rob, I agree. Personally, my perusing so many blogs with personal discussions has had an effect on the types (and depth) of personal things I'm willing to talk to other people about. The shift makes some people uncomfortable, though. Most of the people I talk to don't read blogs.

By now, they probably think I'm a right metrosexual :)

I follow most of the blogs you mentioned. Another blog I often read with interest (particularly from the "baring your sole" category) is Jory Des Jardins' blog.

[Dina Mehta]

Hey Rob ... to add to what you and Stuart and Euan and Matt feel, perhaps it has a lot to do with the whole process of selecting friends ... traditionally, we sought within a confined space (physical, temporal, familial, cultural, national etc). I can only think of the old penpals system as the only window outside of these spaces as I was growing up. And we enjoyed those friendships then, when we ourselves lived in those spaces. Today this isn't true anymore .. I am Indian sure .. yet I don't feel I just live in my little corner in India. I am woman ... but my identity isn't from my gender and the roles ascribed to women. I am a market researcher who's spent most of her life dealing in traditional industries .. that doesn't stop me enjoying my interactions with 'geeks' and knowledge workers alike.

Indira Gandhi once said .. "You can't shake hands with a clenched fist". Through blogging, as I extend open palms, I'm able to discover, embrace, enjoy and celebrate so many new forms of relationships of MY deep and personal choice. In the mirrors of these relationships I forge of my own free will, I see my own reflection, and I learn to trust not just others, but myself more. These reflections also tell me more about who I am, who I can be. Instinctively, intuitively. And I am inspired at the discovery that so many believe in me, it reinforces my trust in myself ... I know I live.

Is there a better foundation for trust than this?

[Stuart]

Thanks Rob!
One of the next things I plan to do is reset my newsreader. Over the time it had expanded to 600+ blogs which at one time I scanned daily. In the end that gave me little joy and today it's unworkable.

Blogging for me is a social and conversational media. I'd gotten away from it. For awhile blogging controlled me. Now I hope to simply enjoy blogging again.

It's also no surprise to me to see both Euan and Dina commenting here. I find myself underestimating the support and opportunities blogging is and has provided me. Nothing I'm doing today or have done for the last four years would have been possible without my blog.

Rob, thanks again for proving it to me.

Cheers
Stuart

[Johnnie Moore]

Rob: I've been really blogging light lately, and this post is making me want to get my act together !

[Dina Mehta]

Now doesn't this call for a celebration!!! Thanks Rob. Like Johnnie, like Stuart .. I feel inspired to get my act together too.

[Euan Semple]

Hurrah! You've been missed Stuart!