Robert Paterson's Weblog

Autumn Leaves - Grand daughter Style

First Day Daycare

Her mother is a Foodie

Will she want to kill us when she sees this as a teenager?

James and Jen's Wedding

My life's job complete?

This week, as we celebrated the marriage of our son and spent more time with our grand daughter - last year our daughter was married too - I have felt a shift in me.

With both of our children married to wonderful people and with grandchildren, what is our role now as parents?

As the new relationships deepen and as their own children arrive and demand so much, we drift off and become the "Parents" - people to placate at Christmas - "How are we going to keep all the in laws happy?' Down the road we become children ourselves - "What are we going to do with Dad?"

My life gift is being able to see the future as it were the present. This is also a curse. The future is not here yet. But I feel in my bones that after 32 years of full on parenting - this job is over.Something big has ended and I am not sure of what will be the new "job"?

This feeling of an ending is different from when I left the conventional workplace 15 years ago. Then I was still young and had so much opportunity ahead. This break is different because there is not much time left. I wonder if I will live to see my grand daughter married? Will we last out the roof?

I suspect that the new "job" will be to "let go".

One of my favourite books is Herman Hesse's "Siddartha". The hero ends his days after a very varied, active and involved life, as a ferry man. Content to do a simple task and to connect to people and to the river with NO Objective.

Slower, he walked along in his thoughts and asked himself: “But what is this, what you have sought to learn from teachings and from teachers, and what they, who have taught you much, were still unable to teach you?” And he found: “It was the self, the purpose and essence of which I sought to learn. It was the self, I wanted to free myself from, which I sought to overcome. But I was not able to overcome it, could only deceive it, could only flee from it, only hide from it. Truly, no thing in this world has kept my thoughts thus busy, as this my very own self, this mystery of me being alive, of me being one and being separated and isolated from all others, of me being Siddhartha! And there is no thing in this world I know less about than about me, about Siddhartha!”

I suspect that one of my teachers will be my grand daughter. I spent a couple of hours with her yesterday on the lawn with the dogs just watching her and the grass grow. It was lovely - so much to see and to discover that I could never have seen before.

Next week pictures - film etc of the wedding which was wonderful

Weddings and Our Lives

Today my son, James, and his wife to be, Jen, arrive on PEI - next Tuesday they will be married. Our daughter was married last year.

I can't help feeling bitter sweet. For this is the time that a child makes a decisive break from their parents. Their own relationship and most importantly their relationship with their own children begins to take precedence. It truly is a break.

I know that it's the natural rhythm of life - but it is a bit sad too. Robin and I plan to slip away at an early time on Tuesday night - leaving the party and the future to our kids and to theirs.

First Steps - Becoming a human

Just Crawling - A Huge step

Notice the similarity with the Guild Navigator in Dune - the Slime trail

I love Strawberries - First Time