That's what my leaving my home and PEI is feeling like for me right now.
I am in limbo and have been for 2 years as we have had out place up for sale. I can't know when our place will sell but it could be any day. I don't know where I am going for sure either. Is this not the same when we think abut our death.
So I find myself with no plans. I find myself hunkering down to the mundane. Walking the dogs. Mowing. Cooking and cleaning. Maintaining the house. Very simple actions.
I find myself pulling back from my friends and from the life of the Island. It hurts too much to commit when I know I wont be here.
I have been on PEI for 15 years - the longest time I have spent in any one place at a stretch. My home here and my friends on PEI have restored me to life. What a gift! But I am going. My family pulls me. I can't know what this means but I know that my future is tied into the lives of my children and their children and this is the tribe that I have to pay attention to in the last years of my life.
Is this not how we feel when we die too? We leave all behind for a future that a cannot be known but that cannot be denied either.