A Fulfilled Woman?

Carly or Pamela?

"Who is Pamela?" You may ask. Pamela Harriman was one of the most influential women of the 20th century. You still haven't heard of her. Well that was part of her power. She was the consummate insider.

As a young woman, she was known for her beauty. But she was so much more than that. Without a formal education, she became known for her mind. She was at the centre of power in both the UK and the US in her 20's and thirties and never relinquished her influence on the most powerful people of her time.

Having begun life in genteel poverty, she became very wealthy. Having been a figure of scandal, she became a major force in American Politics. Having been a significant force in the Clinton election, she astounded her critics by becoming an exceptional US Ambassador to France.  She died, still active in mind and in body, while swimming in the pool, at the Ritz in Paris. Over 1,000 people came to her funeral at the Washington National Cathedral.

So how did she do this? Well she was a Courtesan. Not a prostitute. A Courtesan.

So what's a Courtesan? You wouldn't like to be called one would you?

This is the first chapter in a short series that will make the case that being a Courtesan may be a role that a truly modern, post industrial woman may aspire to. That is if she wants to become economically self-sufficient, psychologically independent, personally powerful and attached to a steadfast group of lifelong devoted friends who are both men and women.

We will discover together the secrets of the courtesan and see how this life can work today. You will see, I hope, that their ability to create a Trusted Space emerges as a critical role in the development of their relationships and in their own lives.

We will visit Veronica Franco who lived in Venice in the mid 16th century, a poet and author and a mistress of a King of France. We will drop by and meet Emilie de Chatelet, mistress of Voltaire and maybe the most brilliant woman physicist whose translation of Newton's Principia, remains the current best French text today.  We will look more deeply into the remarkable life of Madame de Pompadour, mistress to Louis XV, back room ruler of France and devoted friend of the Queen. We will spend time with Madame de Stael, mistress of Talleyrand, who was the power behind much of literature in the Napoleonic era.

It is my great joy that I take this journey with my best pal, my sister Diana, whose own life has been the life of a courtesan. We will bounce back through time as we meet her honoured predecessors and see how her own life has mirrored theirs.

Here she is, aged 23,  as she  steps out into this life. Here in her own words is how she sees this life:-

Courtesans don't make men lose their heads, they are not Helen of Troy.

They gain the man's everlasting respect, re: Talleyrand returning to Germaine every time he was in trouble.  She was Necker's daughter, but more interesting than that was her mother.  Also Swiss, and she had been engaged to Gibbon.  A pastor's daughter, she was well educated and did much to advance her husband's career. 

She had a great salon on Fridays where she entertained all the most influential men of the time,  Germaine, grew up in the centre of a very elite group of people
and women. 

Her father was a brilliant forward thinking financial man. So from both sides she inherited something far more precious than looks.

Looks are transient.  A beautiful woman becomes a faded beauty, something sad to behold.

A clever, witty and kind woman ages without her age being noticed, and she, has maturity, and good sense and  a great deal to offer younger women and she knows well her time has passed and she loves nothing more than to pass on her experience to a
younger intelligent woman she respects.

Age is no obstacle for her.  She has no need of plastic surgery because she takes on her new role as grand dame with great relief.

She has had many men and many experiences, and she is happy to live with her memories and move forward with her personal interests.  She does not need to diet because she is now fulfilled by things that feed her mind. Her pleasure of the body has been replaced by the utter pleasure of all things interesting to her. 

She sleeps alone and comfortably.  She leaves the fretting of love and not love to younger
women.  She has no more of those thoughts to cloud her mind and take away her sleep.  She is comfortable with herself.

Her old lovers if still alive, remain faithful to her in their minds, and look back with a certain amount of sadness, but also they are grateful to her for all that she brought to them.  They do not think of her as someone who has broken their heart, but as someone they shared a relationship, that was probably the most special relationship of their lives.

I am very happy with my age and all that goes with it.  I have been totally fulfilled as a woman. 

Menopause for me has been wonderful.  I have embraced being a grand mother, and feel no loss of my previous sexuality.  All my fantasies have been fulfilled.  I have loved and been loved, and am still loved by my darling Geoff, who leads a life of total freedom, since I am very absorbed with my own interests, and yet we have our moments during the day when we chat. 

He has no curfew, nor any chores.  He lives a life that he wants to.  He works and then comes home to do all the things he likes. 

No rules, no my way of doing things.  He can drop his clothes on the floor leave his dishes on the floor.  He lives just as he wants.  He gives me money to pay for his needs and that is that. 

He has total freedom. He does not have to attend any party, or function.  He is a man with a woman at his side, who demands nothing of him, but he has that comfort when he needs it and he has food to eat and he has his meals prepared. There are no times for meals just when he wants to eat.

I have no duties either.  Total freedom of my spare time.

Please join Di and I as we travel through time and her life and explore the secrets of the Life of the Courtesan

1. Chapter 1 - The mind - The Core of Courtesanship - Being well educated versus going to school
2. Chapter 2 -  Sex - The art of being really loving rather than making love
3. Chapter 3 - Husbands/Mates, Fellowship and Fidelity - Going beyond the body to the whole person
4. Chapter 4 - Post Modern Relationships - Return to Hunter Gatherer Society
5. Chapter 5 - The Kingdom - The underlying contract with nature and with Our Nature